Practice Loving-Kindness with Jon Kabat-Zinn
So, in a dignified sitting posture, or lying down, as you feel ready, bringing your awareness to the breath, and the body as a whole breathing.
And resting here for a period of time, riding on the waves of the breath. And when you feel comfortable, resting with the flowing of your breathing in this way, picturing in your mind's eye, to whatever degree you find it possible, someone in your life who loves you unconditionally.
Resting in the warmth and radiance of their heartfelt embracing of you, just as you are, you are unconditionally loved and accepted.
Without having to be different, without having to be worthy in fact, you may not feel particularly worthy or deserving. That does not matter. It is, in fact, irrelevant. The relevant fact is that you are loved. Their love is for you.
For who you are now, already, and perhaps always have been. Allowing your own heart to bask in these feelings, to be cradled in them, to be rocked moment by moment in the swinging rhythmic beating of the loving heart of another.
Allowing your heart to be held and bathed in this way, by the warmth of this radiant, pulsing field of loving kindness.
Now, as you feel ready seeing if you can become the source of these feelings for yourself as if they were your own rather than those of another. In resting here in this field of loving kindness, this embrace of loving kindness, you may find it useful to whisper to yourself inwardly the following phrases, or hear them being whispered to you by the wind, by the breath, by the world:
May I be safe and protected. May I be happy and contented. May I be healthy and whole to whatever degree possible. May I experience ease of well being. May I be happy and contented. May I be healthy and whole, to whatever degree possible. May I experience ease of well being.
At first, it may feel artificial to be saying such things to yourself after all, who is this I who is wishing this? And who is the I who is receiving these wishes? Ultimately, both vanish into the feeling of being safe into the feeling of being contented and happy in this moment, the feeling of resting in ease of well being, this feeling, this very feeling, is the essence of loving kindness.
But, you might object, if this is a selfless practice, why am I focusing on myself, on my own feelings of safety and well being, on my own happiness? One response would be, because you are not separate from the universe that gave rise to you and so are as worthy an object of loving kindness as anything else or anyone else.
Once you have established a fairly stable field of loving kindness around yourself, you can intentionally expand the field of the heart we can expand the field of loving kindness inviting other beings, either singly or en masse, into this growing embrace.
This is not always so easy to do, and so it's helpful to start with one person for whom you naturally harbor feelings of loving kindness. In your mind's eye and in your heart, evoking the feeling or image of an individual, a person for whom you have great affection, someone you are close to emotionally. Can you hold this person in your heart with the same quality of loving kindness that you have been directing towards yourself?
Whether it is a child or a parent, a brother or a sister, a grandparent or other relative near or distant, a close friend or a cherished neighbor, breathing with them in your heart, holding them in your heart, imagining them in your heart as best you can. And wishing them well:
May they be safe and protected and free from inner and outer harm. May they be happy and contented. May they be healthy and whole to whatever degree possible. May they experience ease of well being.
If you find the mind wandering or you find yourself struggling at a certain point, just noticing what's going on in the mind, perhaps feeling the sense of struggle in maybe even maintaining your focus or your concentration, and simply over and over again, including yourself in the field of loving kindness and coming back to the phrases resting in the feeling radiating out of those phrases.
And from here, if you care to, you can once again expand the field of awareness to include one or more individuals who are actually problematic for you in one way or another. With whom you share a difficult past, perhaps. Who may have harmed you in one way or another. Who for whatever reason you consider to be more of an adversary or an obstacle than a friend.
This does not mean that you are being asked to forgive them for what they may have done to cause harm. You are simply recognizing that they too are human beings, that they too have aspirations, that they too in all likelihood desire to be happy and safe. So as best you can and only to the degree that you feel ready for it or at least open to experimenting with it extending loving kindness to them as well: